Kelly, neurotypical: Despite behavior bordering on paranoia for most of the pandemic, I'm quarantined in our basement for my third round of illness. At this point, no one else has any symptoms, and I'm hopeful it will stay that way. I'm in good health otherwise and we're fortunate to have enough space to spread out, so there are no long-term worries at this point. And luckily, Josh is great in a crisis.
The selfies are unrelated to this story, but a fun development nonetheless.
Josh's tendency toward black-and-white thinking, along with his training as a public health professional, really come in handy when certain situations need handling. He's easily able to prioritize the most critical tasks and make sure they get done. His judgment is not clouded by his emotions. While I struggled with the fact that our daughter would miss me, and I would miss her, and Josh would have to handle things on his own for the duration of my time in the basement, he very matter-of-factly told me to quarantine.
Josh is running the house and taking care of our daughter, keeping me fed and watered, and checking on me regularly. Like anyone would be, he'll be pretty run down by the end of my five days of quarantine. What's different about Josh, and what I now know to expect, is that when he's overextended, it takes him longer to recover than it takes me. Especially this time - he's been on sensory overload lately as it is. So when I'm better, the first priority will be to give Josh time and space to decompress. He'll be irritable and he'll struggle until he gets that, and we both know it. But now that we know and understand what he needs - it's so much easier to navigate these situations.
A few years ago, I would have been bothered by Josh' seeming detachment from the situation, as well as his difficulty in comprehending my emotional reactions to serious situations (especially when they play a part in my decision making). Now, I am appreciative of this way that we are different, and that he is able to take the lead when a high-pressure situation like this arises.
Before his diagnosis, I would have also spent a lot of time with hurt feelings when Josh doesn't seem overjoyed at my release from quarantine, or when it takes him a few days to get back on his feet after this ordeal. But now I know better and I don't have to take it personally, which doesn't necessarily mean I won't - only that I will have a rational part of my brain that I can rely on when I start to go down that road.
In short, now that we understand our neurodivergence, we can appreciate the ways that our personalities are complementary and take better care of each other than we ever could before.
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